Turning social comparison into something constructive

Don’t Deny It, Admit It

We have an instinctive want to make judgements about ourselves and we do this is by measuring where we stand relative to others. It’s human nature to compare ourselves with those around us, a trait that lets us co-exist as a community while learning from one another. If you recognize and accept this, that helps offset the negative charge that can come with social comparison and make it less likely to trigger destructive emotional responses such as lowered self-esteem and confidence.

Turn Critique into Compliment

You’re working up a sweat on the treadmill and feeling good about yourself. You look over and the person next to you is running at a higher speed and incline, and with ease. Suddenly, you have that sinking feeling that you are not enough. They were born with running genes, you convince yourself, or are wearing some super shoes that give them an edge. You won’t admit it, but that’s jealousy making you feel inadequate, and you react by finding faults or putting others down.

It may make you feel better, but only briefly and you’ll end up feeling worse because that is not associated with who you really are. Turn things around by being honest about how you feel: Sure, they have something you don’t or they’re able to do something you can’t, yet. Then, instead of criticizing, compliment them about it. You may make a friend and get some good advice for upping your running game!

Transform Jealousy into Ambition

Now that you’ve come clean about what it is that troubled you about the comparison, you also know what it is that you really want for yourself. To be faster on the treadmill? To lift more weights? Whatever it may be, make it a goal to work towards. Think of the person you were comparing yourself to. Take a mental picture and use it as your muse, your inspiration, and your benchmark. You’ve seen someone who can do what you would like to so you know it can be done. So then, to compare is not necessarily to despair like the saying goes. You can turn it into a constructive endeavor that lifts you up and elevate your game in every aspect of life!